“Introduction”
I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma on November 22, 2004. Multiple Myeloma is an incurable cancer in the bone marrow. My life was about to change. At the time that I was diagnosed, I had been away from the Church for over thirty years. I had strayed away from the Church at the age of 18. When I left home to join the military I also left the Church.
The turning point in my life would be early 2005. In April I was admitted to the hospital for my stem cell transplant. I spent twelve days in the hospital. Ten days after I left the hospital my Mother passed away. Then about ten days later I lost my job. This was a six figure a year job.
Cancer saved my life, spiritually speaking. I thank God for my cancer and the trials that I went through. God’s word has brought great comfort to me. I hope with my story I can comfort others with the same comfort that God gave me. I believe that God expects that from me (2 Cor 1:3-4)
I hope you will enjoy my journey as much as I have. I would like to leave you with Psalm 119:67 “Before I was afflicted I went astray, But now I keep Your word.”
“The Foundation”
I was raised in the Church of Christ. I remember the salad suppers and eating homemade ice cream in someone’s backyard. I remember how when one of the men would buy a new car they would park it by the front door. The hood would be raised and all the men would be talking about horsepower instead of fuel mileage. I was born in 1955 and times were different then. Those were good times at Sansom Park Church of Christ. I didn’t realize it then, but I do now.
One of my earliest memories as a child, I couldn’t have been over 4 or 5. Mother would lay a blanket in the backyard and we would lie down on our backs and look up at the sky. Back then there weren’t as many city lights and the sky would be lit up with the stars. I remember her telling me how that God had created all those stars. To this day, sometimes I will just stand outside and look up at the stars. It’s so peaceful and it really sends me back to my backyard and my Mother lying next to me. I can also remember during a bad storm Mother would lay next to me and tell me how God was watering His creation, the plants and trees.
I don’t remember us ever missing a service. Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night, I don’t guess that was an option. When we would travel on Sundays we would always find a place to worship. I remember one time when we were traveling we must have been running late. We got the car parked and rushed in what we thought was the back door of the building. To our surprise it was the door next to the pulpit. Needless to say we made a grand entry.
I don’t know if Mother was aware of it then, but she was building a foundation for me. The foundation was solid, but it would be a foundation that I would not build on for some thirty years. I left home at 18 to join the military. I not only left home I left the Church. I turned my back to God.
“Days of Darkness”
As I look back on my life, I see that I have lived my years here on earth in three separate and distinct periods. The first being what I refer to as “The Foundation” years of my life. As I discussed in the previous blog those were the years that I grew up in the Church. I seem to cherish those years now more than ever. The third period of my life started on November 22, 2004 when I was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. This is the day that my journey began back to the Lord.
The second period of my life would encompass some thirty plus years. These were the years that I was away from the Church. I refer to these years as the “Days of Darkness”. This is going to be the hardest period of my life to reflect back on. I am not proud of these years. After coming back to the Church I was once asked if my conscience bothered me about being away from the Church for those years. My answer to that question is, No! God has forgiven me for that transgression. I need to move on. Now, I do have some regrets. The first being disappointing God. I also think about the knowledge I would have today if I had not strayed away. I think about the danger that my soul was in during those years. Hell was just around the corner.
My mother passed away just a couple of months before I came back to the Lord. I know what that would have meant to her. I now know that I should have been sitting there next to her in that pew. The night before my mother passed away I went by to say good night and she was reading the Bible. That was the last time I would talk to her. My last memory of my mother would be of her reading her Bible. As you will read later the timing of my mother’s death would play a key part in my returning to the Church.
There is not much I can say about those years. I thank God for his patience and His mercy. I thank God for sending His only Son to earth to suffer a terrible death for us, and because of that terrible death on the cross I understand that I don’t have to worry about those years that I was away from the Church. God forgave me.
“Into The Valley”
The date was November 22nd, 2004 and I was 49 years old. I was sitting in my doctor’s office waiting for the results of my bone marrow biopsy. He arrived and told me that I did have multiple myeloma. I remember my first reaction was a big smile. I don’t know who was more surprised by the smile, me or my doctor. I went back to work that day and everyone was waiting for the news. I came in with a big smile on my face and they assumed that the news was good and that I didn’t have cancer. I told them that I was diagnosed with cancer and I didn’t know why that I am smiling. I didn’t know it then, but my life was about to change in a big way. This was the beginning of the greatest years of my life. Oh, I am still smiling.
On March 29th, 2005 I was admitted to the hospital for my stem cell transplant. I would be there for a couple of weeks. It was a tough couple of weeks. I remember that my biggest concern was not about me, but for some reason it was about my mother. I prayed to God that nothing would happen to her while I was there. I couldn’t imagine my mother’s death and be being stuck there in the hospital. There was no reason for my fear because she was in good health for an 85 year old. I just had a feeling. I prayed continually. When I was released from the hospital one of the instructions was that I had to stay around the house for a couple of weeks. My immune system wasn’t where it needed to be to deal with the general public. A couple of weeks after I was released, my mother passed away. God answered my prayers. He actually answered two prayers at once. From the time that I had been diagnosed with cancer I had continually ask God to not let me die before my mother. I didn’t want my mother to witness my death.
About two weeks after my mother’s death I was able to go back to work. When I arrived I was told that my services were not needed anymore. This was a six figure a year job. I wasn’t upset, I guess I was in shock. I was thinking, what else could happen to me. In a period of just over a month I had a stem cell transplant, my mother passed away and I had lost a dream job. I had hit rock bottom. I was physically and emotionally drained. What was I going to do?
“The Benefits Of Suffering”
I was suffering both physically and emotionally. I had just gone through the toughest time of my life. In a book written by the late Brother Thomas B. Warren titled “Our Loving God-Our Sun And Shield” he writes:
“Suffering may be either beneficial or destructive to the sufferer. The result of suffering depends upon the reaction which the sufferer makes to it. Suffering may drive one away from faith into despair and utter discouragement – and so, away from God. On the other hand, suffering may lead one to do such soul searching as will result in repentance from sin, which, in turn, will lead one closer to God. Reacting to suffering is much like reacting to a hot poker: it will burn us or help us, depending on whether we grasp it by the handle or the hot end. Suffering can terribly scar one if he does not react to it as God would have him to react. But it can be the source of manifold blessing if one does properly react.”
I thank God that I grabbed that hot poker by the handle. I wrote earlier about how my mother had built a great foundation for me at an early age, but it would take over thirty years before I would build on it. I believe that this was the first fruits of her labor. The reason that I was able to grab that poker by the handle is because of the foundation that she had built for me at an early age.
My mother didn’t get to see the fruits of her labor, she passed away just a couple of months prior to me returning to the Church.
“The Repentance”
As I reflect on my journey back to the Church, I think about the three tragic events (cancer, my mother’s death and job loss) in my life that led me to repent. My feeling is that no single one of these events would have brought me to repentance. I remember that after I was diagnosed with cancer my mother talked to me about coming back to the Church. I just blew it off. Even after my mother’s death, I didn’t rush back to the Church. Then, just a couple of weeks after my mother’s death I lost my job. I don’t believe that losing my job would have caused me to repent. The fact is, that these three events all coming together in a very short period of time is what got my attention.
I feel very blessed that I found my way back to the Church. I feel like God kept knocking me down until he got my attention. He got my attention! I headed straight for the doors of my mother’s congregation. Shortly thereafter I repented as was baptized for the remission of my sins. I was baptized at an early age but I don’t believe there was any repentance involved. I think it was more a baptism of peer pressure than anything else. I didn’t want to take a chance.
Before I was afflicted I went astray, But now I keep Your word. (Psalm 119:67)
